Am I anti social??
Why do I always just get too tired and not want to go out?? Why can't I stay up to socialize?

I've wondered so many times what kind of person I am. And what others think of me... When they first meet me, and when they've gotten to know me a bit better... and finally, when they really get to know me. Well, the thing is... I don't even know if anyone really knows me well... I mean... I do hide so much of my feelings to everyone. I don't really talk about my feelings, even though I do talk to some people... but what's really going on in my head, how I am really feeling... I like keeping that to myself. So am I just really incapable of sharing with someone?

But really... I am quite sensitive... and I am a very cheesy person too I reckon. I still have the birthday present the first guy I had a crush on gave me... even though it wasn't really a present, but a card... it's still tucked in safely in my diary. And I still have all those little notes Biki drew and wrote with me the sleepless nights we had when I believed in something perhaps I shouldn't have ever believed... shouldn't have ever even thought about doing... And I keep those e-mail print outs that I used to have in my pocket to make me feel better, when I don't even know if they were true... And my eyes get wet just from looking at those little notes.

So if I do have so much emotions, why can't I be sensible enough to share all my feelings with people who care about me?

But then... who cares about me?