Last night Biki and Damian came over for dinner. We hung out... then we started talking about weddings and stuff... And all of a sudden, I felt scared. We are all grown ups now, talk about getting married and all. But am I ready?

When sis was here, she went out with a couple of my friends. Before she went out, I was telling her things she should notice and stuff. Biki said that I was like a mom. Friday night JC got sick from his food. I was all thinking of what food is good for sick people...and I gave him tea so he could feel better soon. This morning DeShea came here feeling a bit hung over. I gave her tea and food. Then Lindsay called. I made her toast and a cup of tea, ran across the street to her house and gave her the food.

I am SUCH a MOM.

I feel like I am older than most people... and I am... I am older than the people around me.

And no, I don't want to grow up. I like taking care of people... people around me. But I don't want to grow up. I want to have my own kids, but I don't want to grow up.

And you know... sometimes, I'd love to have someone to take care of me too. Friday night I was coming home from grocery shopping. I had 2 weeks' food on me. My backpack was filled, my hangs were filled with bags of grocery. And I really, really, really, really, REALLY wanted someone to be there helping me. I got home all tired and starving... and my milk container broke since I dropped the bag due to heaviness... I really wanted to have someone be there to tell me it's ok. It's ok to mess up and it's ok coz he/she will make me dinner. I really wanted someon to give me a hug. And yesterday, when I had that horrible stomach ache... I really really wanted somebody to just make a cup of tea for me, hug me, and perhaps tell me a story to make me feel better.

I think I want too much from my life.