Home is great. I haven't had such a relaxed time in a very very long time. Here, I run away from all the problems and don't have to worry about what people see from me.


I have been eating a lot even though my grandmom said that I gained weight. But she doens't care. She said that as soon as I go back to Boston, all the fat I got in the past few months, and the next few months to come will all be gone before I realize. I don't think so... from the tightness of my jeans, the roundness of my tummy and the size of my fast growing love-handles... I don't think so. What am I gonna do? Everyone is telling me that I am going to have tons of opportunities to drink a lot of beer in Australia... and that's not good. The result of my "more than ever fatness" was due to the wonderful bread, cheese and wine in Paris, and now I am going to the land of beer drinking... Sigh. I guess I am doomed to be fat this whole year. But time for new clothes shopping hey? :-P


So after my cousin worrying about me on the phone for 2 hours... my mom started to worry too. The fortune teller told my mom that I will marry a foreigner. I guess she has given up on the idea of changing that. The other day, she asked me if anyone is chasing after me. I said no. She became silence and did not say another word about it. The next day, while driving back to my grandmom's place, we were listening to the music in the car, not saying a word since we just had a long chat about absolutely nothing. All of a sudden, she turned around to look at me, (notice, she is driving, she is not looking at the road, but me), and said, "Who are you going to marry then??" in a panicked tone. Pulled back to reality (a confusing reality, in fact) from my day-dreaming world, I was like, WHAT? Is it really that bad? I mean, we are living in a modern world and there are tons of people planning on not getting married, right? I thought I made it clear with her that I am actually thinking about not getting married, even though I want a kid... So the solution for me was to pay a trip to the sperm bank! What happened to that plan?


Like I said before... The world today has become something that I often do not comprehend. The relationship between people are just so not understandable. Best friends can turn into enemies, lovers can turn into haters. People hide feelings and show something else. Not saying that I don't hide my feelings, but it's a different kind. Then there are people marrying people whom they met online and the first time they see each other in person is the day they get married. Can we call that true love? WHAT HAPPENED TO TRUE LOVE?? I don't know... perhaps I should open up my mind.


So I guess I do have at least 10 guys for me to choose from since my mom knows so many people and match making is still in practise in this society. It all came down to the dicision... do I want to spend the rest of my life with my sperm-bank kid, or one of the "lucky" guy from the list?


WHAT HAPPENED TO TRUE LOVE? I keep on wondering...