Back in Boston... Been very busy with classes, activities and friends.
Everything feels so familiar yet so distant and different... Everyone is strange. Sometimes, I don't know what to do with myself anymore. Everytime I see pictures of Sydney, I miss the life there. It was easy and just felt right. Paris was wonderful, but French stress me out. The city is too cold, people too insensible. Paris is a good place to visit and live for a little while, in my opinion... but not for too long. I feel that I will go insane in Paris unless I get to get out of Paris every month.
I think I miss the pace in Sydney. The amazing blue blue sky, the signs in Royal Botanic Gardens that say "Please walk on the grass" where the grass are green, soft, and fresh.
Boston is still what I love, but I just feel that I want to run away from here sometimes. I am assuming that it's not the place, it's the people, the things and the memories that tied with this city. The air is still as fresh as I remembered it to be, the city scape from the water still takes my breath away... and the walk by the river is certainly still one of my favourite activities in the world... But I feel I am under pressure, I feel people are watching me, and memories chasing after me. It's not letting me go... I want to yell to them to let go of me, let me go on with my life, but it won't go away, no matter how hard I try. It's amazing how hard memories grab onto me... amazing how it is hard for me to let go of people...
September 11 just past... there are so many memories related to day too. That sunny day when I thought nothing mattered... Funny how things remind me of some things and someone else...
I guess the song "Until I get over you" by Christina Milian is in a way suitable for my feelings...
"Until I get over you" by Christina Milian
Woke up today thinking of you
Another night that I made my way through
So many dreams still left in my mind
But they can never come true
I press rewind and remember when
I close my eyes and I'm with you again
But in the end I can still feel the pain ?every time I hear your name
The sun won't shine since you went away
Seems like the rain’s falling every day
There's just one heart, where there once was two
But that's the way it's gotta be,
'Til I get over you?
Walked through the park, in the evening air
I heard a voice and I thought you were there
I run away but I just can't escape
Memories of you everywhere
They say that time will dry the tears
But true love burns for a thousand years
Give my tomorrows for one yesterday
Just to know that I could have you here
When will this river of tears stop fallin?
Where can I run so I won't feel alone
Can't walk away when the pain keeps callin?
I’ve just gotta take it from here on my own
But it's so hard to let go
