I feel like I have done so much since I got here. Orientation started the 2nd day I got here and we had a Harbour Cruise. Even though it was cold and windy, it was still amazing and I had a great time. The next day we had more orientation stuff and finally in the afternoon, we went out to Bondi beach. The beach itself was beautiful, and then we walked along the cliffs and rocks, that was a very scenic walk and I would go back there if I could. When we were walking, we could see the storm clouds coming in from afar... it was an unforgettable sight... The dark evil clouds moved very fast... luckily it didn't come to us on the shore. But it was an amazing sight to see it over the ocean and its movement. After the walk, we chilled out for a little while at the Bondi Hotel and walked off to a friend's friend's place. I have to say, I would love to have a place like that :) I had a relaxed night and really had heaps of fun taking pictures!

Monday night, we went to this place called Scubar and watched Crab Race... Before that, we had tons of walking in the city and got to see some parts of the city. It was a great filled up day :)

So now after a couple of days (almost a week now actually!) I must say that I still am in love with Sydney! Amazing, isn't it? I went with Danielle the other day to Glebe (sp??) and sat in a little cafe to read our class material... and I fell in love with just the idea and the atomosphere! I guess this is what I was looking for for my own little cafe :) Perhaps I will come back in the future and have my own little cafe here! We'll see where else I come up with!

I am totally in love with Sydney! I loved it the moment I got out of the aeroport building when the fresh air came rushing into me. The air was refreshing, chill and calming, I just had a great "first moment." As the taxi driver drove me out of the aeroport complex, I felt like I was back in South Africa, although people drove faster and honk more than the South Africa in my memory. After all, I guess, Sydney is a big city, bigger and more modernized than Pretoria.

I got to the hotel and everyone was so friendly. People in the hotel, people in the street... They smile, unlike the Parisians. I just love it! Even though it's going to be winter soon here, the weather was just perfect. It wasn't cold at all. I only had a shirt on and did not even need my jacket. It was sunny, the sky was blue, everything is still green. I got to the hotel, and though as much as I wanted to get out there and start my first day in Sydney, I gave in to the comfortness of the hotel bed, and slept through the morning. Around 10:30 AM, I finally got myself together and met up with Melissa. We had a little walk around the area that I am going to be living in and work in, Chippendale and Chinatown, then we had a warm lunch. After lunch, we started walking towards the water. I was thinking more out towards Port Jackson, Sydney Cove area so I could see the Syendy Opera House and Harbour Bridge, but we ended up heading towards Darling Harbour first since it was closer. It was great over there, nice water, great harbour area. People were just sitting around and having late lunches, enjoying their time. After that, we headed towards the Sydney Cove along the water. It was a long but really pleasant walk, I would say. We got a bit lost since we weren't quite sure if we were heading towards the right direction. Finally, we saw a rocky area and I figured that we were close to The Rocks. Then all of a sudden, I saw the Harbour Bridge... I saw people walking on top of the bridge and it was just a weird feeling. I mean, after reading so much about it and finaly seeing it is a totally differnt experience. We then walked under the bridge and got closer to the water, walked towards the Opera House. When we hit the water, I saw benches and just had to sit down by the water, watch the Opera House in the distance, being under the bridge, and just watch people go by, relaxing, hear the water hitting the shore... It was a great late afternoon, though there was no sunset since we are on the wrong side of the continent for sunsets on the shore line, the clouds were splendid due to the setting sun. A couple were out there getting their wedding pictures taken... high school children were walking around in their uniforms, families were out for walks... It was an amazing time for me. I sat there in the soft light of the setting sun... thinking... how lucky am I to be here at this time? Life is just... amazing :)

PARCE QUE C'EST TOI (A. Red / D. Seff)

Si tu crois un jour qu’je t’laisserai tomber
pour un détail pour une futilité
n’aie pas peur je saurais bien
faire la différence

Si tu crains un jour qu’je t’laisserai fâner
la fin de l’été, un mauvais cap à passer
n’aie pas peur personne d’autre n’pourrait
si facilement te remplacer

oh non pas toi
vraiment pas toi
parce que c’est toi le seule à qui je peux dire
qu’avec toi je n’ai plus peur de vieillir

parce que c’est toi
rien que pour ça
parce que j’avoue j’suis pas non plus tentée
d’rester seule dans un monde insensé

Si tu crois un jour q’tout est à refaire
qu’il faut changer; on était si bien naguère
n’aie pas peur je n’veux pas tout compliquer
pourquoi s’fatiguer

Et commence pas à te cacher pour moi
oh non, je te connais trop bien pour ça
je connais par coeur ton visage
tes désirs, ces endroits de ton corps

qui m’disent encore
parce que nous c’est fort
parce que c’est toi j’oserais tout affronter
et c’est toi à qui j’pourrais pardonner

parce que c’est toi
rien que pour ça
parce que c’est toi j’voudrais un jour un enfant
et non pas parce que c’est le moment

je veux te voir dedans
j’verrais dans ses yeux tous ces petits défauts
parce que parfait n’est plus mon crénau
parce que c’est toi
parce que c’est toi le seul à qui j’peux dire
qu’avec toi je n’ai plus peur de vieillir
parce que c’est toi

rien que pour ça
parce que j’avoue j’suis pas non plus tentée
d’rester seule dans un monde insensé
parce que c’est toi

I swear if one more person tells me it's about time for me to get a bf and perhaps think about getting married, I am going to go nuts in a second.
What is wrong with being single? I don't know... But now I totally understand why Bridget Jones gets really frustrated... People getting married around me doesn't mean that I have to do the same! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

And I swear if one more person tells me it's bad to marry a non-Chinese person, I am going to scream and run away from this place.

You think I am not serious about it? Try me.

Home is great. I haven't had such a relaxed time in a very very long time. Here, I run away from all the problems and don't have to worry about what people see from me.


I have been eating a lot even though my grandmom said that I gained weight. But she doens't care. She said that as soon as I go back to Boston, all the fat I got in the past few months, and the next few months to come will all be gone before I realize. I don't think so... from the tightness of my jeans, the roundness of my tummy and the size of my fast growing love-handles... I don't think so. What am I gonna do? Everyone is telling me that I am going to have tons of opportunities to drink a lot of beer in Australia... and that's not good. The result of my "more than ever fatness" was due to the wonderful bread, cheese and wine in Paris, and now I am going to the land of beer drinking... Sigh. I guess I am doomed to be fat this whole year. But time for new clothes shopping hey? :-P


So after my cousin worrying about me on the phone for 2 hours... my mom started to worry too. The fortune teller told my mom that I will marry a foreigner. I guess she has given up on the idea of changing that. The other day, she asked me if anyone is chasing after me. I said no. She became silence and did not say another word about it. The next day, while driving back to my grandmom's place, we were listening to the music in the car, not saying a word since we just had a long chat about absolutely nothing. All of a sudden, she turned around to look at me, (notice, she is driving, she is not looking at the road, but me), and said, "Who are you going to marry then??" in a panicked tone. Pulled back to reality (a confusing reality, in fact) from my day-dreaming world, I was like, WHAT? Is it really that bad? I mean, we are living in a modern world and there are tons of people planning on not getting married, right? I thought I made it clear with her that I am actually thinking about not getting married, even though I want a kid... So the solution for me was to pay a trip to the sperm bank! What happened to that plan?


Like I said before... The world today has become something that I often do not comprehend. The relationship between people are just so not understandable. Best friends can turn into enemies, lovers can turn into haters. People hide feelings and show something else. Not saying that I don't hide my feelings, but it's a different kind. Then there are people marrying people whom they met online and the first time they see each other in person is the day they get married. Can we call that true love? WHAT HAPPENED TO TRUE LOVE?? I don't know... perhaps I should open up my mind.


So I guess I do have at least 10 guys for me to choose from since my mom knows so many people and match making is still in practise in this society. It all came down to the dicision... do I want to spend the rest of my life with my sperm-bank kid, or one of the "lucky" guy from the list?


WHAT HAPPENED TO TRUE LOVE? I keep on wondering...

When I went back to Boston at the end of March, while watching TV, I came across the song "A Thousand Miles" by Vanessa Carlton. It is a really... well, what I would call romantic song. I never got the chance to look up the lyrics and kinda forgot about it. On my way back to Taiwan, they played the music video on the flight. This time, I remembered to look up the lyrics for the parts that I didn't catch while listening to it. It's really touching... Here is is:

"A Thousand Miles" by Vanessa Carlton

Making my way downtown
Walking fast, Faces passed, And I'm home bound

Staring blankly ahead
Just making my way, making my way
Through the crowd

And I need you, And I miss you, And now I wonder....

If I could fall, Into the sky
Do you think time, Would pass me by
'Cause you know I'd walk, A thousand miles
If I could, Just see you tonight

It's always times like these, When I think of you
And I wonder, If you ever, Think of me

'Cause everything's so wrong
And I don't belong, Living in your precious memories

'Cause I need you, And I miss you, And now I wonder....

If I could fall, Into the sky
Do you think time, Would pass me by
'Cause you know I'd walk, A thousand miles
If I could, Just see you tonight

And I, I, Don't want to let you know
I, I, Drown in your memory
I, I, Don't want to let this go
I, I, Don't....

Making my way downtown
Walking fast, Faces passed, And I'm home bound

Staring blankly ahead
Just making my way
Making my way
Through the crowd

And I still need you, And I still miss you, And now I wonder....

If I could fall, Into the sky
Do you think time, Would pass us by
'Cause you know I'd walk, A thousand miles
If I could, Just see you...

If I could fall, Into the sky
Do you think time, Would pass me by
'Cause you know I'd walk, A thousand miles
If I could, Just see you
If I could, Just hold you
Tonight

Here I go again. I left Boston 5 months ago... 5 months later, I am leaving again. Am I any different? I think I am more experienced, I have seen more of the world, got to know more of the people of the world of ours. But there are just feelings one can never let go.

Sis came online for a little while... then she had to go to bed... I miss her. I haven't seen her for 4 months and I will not see her for at least another 4 months. Why is life always parting for me? I chose to travel... but is there a way to keep the loved ones by me? Am I being selfish again?

Time to go... Need to take a shower and pack up the little things that are left in the room.

Good-bye Boston, see you in September. What's waiting for me when I come back? It's a mystery yet to happen... and I will leave it at that.

Talking to Biki tonight. I was saying, what happens if I was told that I cannot use my computer anymore... and what if I was told that I can never cook again. She paused, and said, rather, what if you cannot use your hands anymore so you can't type nor cook?

What will become of me? I cannot use my hand, I cannot use my computer, nor cook, nor paint, don't even think about taking photos. Those things are my life. What if someone told me, you cannot have those things in your life anymore when I have taken them for granted for so long. I cannot imagine. I never want that happening to me. And I know it will hurt me so badly if that happens to someone that I care. But then again, I am being selfish, as I usually am. Look around, think about other people. There are so many people who lost what and who they love. But such is life right? Biki said, "life is a bitch, you gotta learn how to fuck it!" Somehow, at first, I felt that comment is a bit extream. But that's the truth after I thought about it. It is just another way of saying take what life gives you, deal with it, and benefit from it, right?

Yet, it still hurts to think about it. Human beings are selfish creatures. Only things directly related to us or people around us matters... Most of the time, other's business is not our business. But I hate knowing that I am such a selfish creature.

Life is a bitch, you gotta learn how to fuck it!

"Until" by Sting

If I caught the world in a bottle
And everything was still beneath the moon
Without your love would it shine for me?
If I was smart as Aristotle
And understood the rings around the moon
What would it all matter if you loved me?

Here in your arms where the world is impossibly still
With a million dreams to fulfill
And a matter of moments until the dancing ends
Here in your arms when everything seems to be clear
Not a solitary thing would I fear
Except when this moment comes near the dancing's end

If I caught the world in an hourglass
Saddled up the moon so we could ride
Until the stars grew dim, Until...

One day you’ll meet a stranger
And all the noise is silenced in the room
You’ll feel that you're close to some mystery
In the moonlight and everything shatters
You feel as if you’ve known her all your life
The world’s oldest lesson in history

Here in your arms where the world is impossibly still
With a million dreams to fulfill
And a matter of moments until the dancing ends
Here in your arms when everything seems to be clear
Not a solitary thing do I fear
Except when this moment comes near the dancing’s end

Oh, if I caught the world in an hourglass
Saddled up the moon and we would ride
Until the stars grew dim
Until the time that time stands still, Until...